The Things I Learned from Dad.

To ride a bike. To drive a car. That you never go on a long trip without checking the pressure on the tires and the oil. To cook an omelet. To make Carne Guisada. To grill a piece of meat to perfection.To be nice to people. To be humble, because humble people are the most confident.  They don’t need to show off, they know who they are.To be strong.  To endure.  The confidence necessary to recite a poem in front of hundreds of people at age 8.  To me there was only you in the audience. And you were smiling at me. Forgiveness. Even now …. You are teaching me to keep going.

I use to find it interesting that people made a big deal the day someone died.  I thought, they are gone every other day too.  And while this is true, I miss my dad a lot, on most days I think of him.  But today, just feels like a big punch.  Like, it happened today.  So today I honor him.  Not by crying, but by cheering to all the things he taught me.  

Wow! That was quite... low.

I have never posted anything related to celebrities.  I am not big on celebrity news.  I am much more interested in the life my friends live.  The exception to this is my ‘liking’ of ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’.  

But in trying to find Yahoo Finance, I saw this article.  And I must say— did Brad really have to say all those things about Jenn?!  I mean,  buddy, we get it— You are happy. But why must he be happy only in comparison to what he had before?  Why can’t it just be. Why can’t he just be a gentlemen and not speak about the past. And simply, speak about the present.  If he is only happy in comparison to his life w/ Jenn, they I must say— maybe he’s not happy at all.  

like running into an ex-boyfriend....

Earlier this week I visited my old stomping grounds at 200 West, and I was nervous and excited to see and catch up with former colleagues.  

I felt right at home as soon as I walked, like I could get on the phone and call my old clients and pitch them on why this is a great time to invest in one of our products… vol is up, credit spreads widening, investors are nervous, great time to get protected…. etc. I even got a smile on my face thinking about it. 

It was a great feeling to still be excited and smile about the last six years of my life.  I got the sense that the time I spent there was not a waste. 

But, and while it was exciting, I was also glad to have moved on.  

Just like running into an ex-boyfriend…  It was good to see them doing well, it was good to feel comfortable in their presence, even nice to smile about things past.  But it was even nicer to know that you outgrew that relationship, and that the new one is much better suited for you.

Dreams & Distractions

I wholeheartedly believe in being focused and determined and not letting things distract us from pursuing our dreams.  


I had a big revelation today about distractions and how they may just be the dreams that life is calling us to pursue or a way to confirm that our original dreams were in fact the right path.   

For example, I know of a guy who was doing really well in investment banking and his little passion for music was a ‘distraction’ that kept calling him… I heard he has recorded and album and just got signed.  A distraction that was worth getting distracted for…

Or I have heard of the guy or girl, who breaks up with his/her boyfriend/girlfriend to find out what else is out there, only to find that what they were searching for, they already had.  Distractions that confirmed the original dream was the right one.  As an aside, I hope the girl/boy takes them back.  

So, while I am not saying to sway to the right and to the left every time a distraction pops up….  I am saying that some distractions may be the universe calling us in a different direction. 

Books and What They Say About You

When someone new comes to my apartment, they almost always browse through my (overflowing) bookshelf.   They might find a book they have also read or a book that has been recommended to them or a title that sounds odd.  Knowing the books people read is a good way to get to know them, what interest they have and what they like to spend their time learning about.  

I was told once that someone’s bookshelf reveals an awful lot about them.   I wonder what my bookshelf tells people about me?

My bookshelf has books like ‘Black Boy’, right next to ’ Love the one you are with’, and right besides that is ‘Freakonomics’, and of course my whole collection of C.S. Lewis and Paulo Coelho books.  

I need a bigger bookshelf.  Everyone keeps telling me to get a Kindle or download books on my iPad, but to me there is nothing like turning the page and underlining and circling and making notes in the margins.  

Success re-defined.

If you have not, do yourself a favor and read Outliers.  It will completely change your view of what success is, and how it is attained.  It got me thinking about ALL the lucky breaks I have gotten in the course of my life.  

Success follows a predictable course.  It is not the brightest who succeed… Nor is success simply the sum of the decisions and efforts we make on our own behalf.  It is rather a gift.  Outliers are those who have been given opportunities— and who have had the strength and presence of mind to seize them……

….We are so caught in the myths of the best and brightest and the self-made that we think outliers spring naturally from the earth.  We look at the young Bill Gates and marvel that our world allowed that thirteen-year-old to become a fabulously successful entrepreneur.  But that’s the wrong lesson. Our world only allowed one thirteen-year-old unlimited access to a timesharing terminal in 1968.  If a million tennagers had been given the same opportunity, how many more Microsofts would we have today?  To build a better world we need to replace the patchwork of lucky breaks and arbitrary advantages that today determine success— the fortunate birthdates and the happy accidents of history— with a society that provides opportunities for all.  

—Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers.

Self-employed burdens

Outdated laws and policies are the leading causes of this type of stuff:

The self-employed can’t get unemployment insurance or file for workman’s compensation, and they aren’t covered by most federal or state employee labor laws, leaving them little recourse beyond spending precious time and money in small claims court if they aren’t paid.

Worse, the self-employed are taxed as if they’re medium-size employers, but they can’t deduct health insurance premiums and other expenses that bigger companies can”.