I did a lot of thinking about that last quote. It resonated with me deeply.
"The only way to make a change is to be starving"
So what was I starving for, that made me make such a big change? What was my soul lacking? What was it searching for, that it did not find in the last six years? Or was it that it started being hungry for something else, something greater, something more meaningful? And meaningful to whom?
Perhaps, I spent the last six years feeding my body and faking my soul. But still, I cannot count it as time wasted. It was time of discovery. But maybe it’s like on the airplane. First you must put on your breathing mask, then help others. But there are times when you must first take care of others basic needs then worry about what your own soul needs.
I guess I was thinking about this before. I dug this up, from February.
I am no longer trapped. I was freed.
I am no longer enclosed in my own boundaries.
Not tied down by anxiety or responsibilities that didn’t let me breathe.
I thought I knew, knew what happy was suppose to mean.
Fed definitions of happiness by society. Money and security.
Only I found that while those things fed my body, my soul was starving and dying.
But I can’t be mad. It was not time wasted. It was time of discovery. I saw the world, for the first time I saw the world.
When I looked inside, I realized…. I had gotten what I needed and it was time to get freed. Fed the body, now time to feed the soul.
I am a big believer that only God can satisfy the soul. But this isn’t about religion or spiritual views. This is simply an understanding that the things that feed the body cannot feed the soul. It’s about, me, realizing that there are greater things that simply cannot be found in an office. At least, I couldn’t find them.
So, the change is made. Now, I am looking forward to seeing it come to fruition. I have spent the last month defining what change I want to bring to the world. I am still not there YET.