I have often struggled with living and enjoying the present. Always worried about tomorrow, but tomorrow comes too quick and then there is another tomorrow to worry about. Living in the present is much easier said than done. But why is that?
I have found that it’s easy to get stuck in the past, continue to remind myself how others hurt me, or how much fun it was when I was doing this, that or the other. Then I think, yes the past has hurt but it was also awesome. Many awesome things happened in the past and I have beautiful memories, feel proud of my accomplishments. Then why does my anxious mind constantly asks what’s next?
It’s Monday, why am I thinking about the weekend. It’s winter, why am I worried about summer plans. Sure, there is some level of planning that is necessary. You can’t live life entirely impromptu. But I find that as a human, I am constantly haunted by my past and (at best) motived by my future or (at worst) afraid of it.
As a Christian, I am taught not to be anxious about anything. C.S. Lewis says that the present is where time touches eternity, where we are closest to God (since he is eternal). Many other religions and philosophies teach the same. Meditation teaches to quiet your mind, and in quieting your mind find peace and be filled with God.
I want my mind to know what my sprit already knows. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is no yet here. I only have right now, and right now is good, lovely, and lacking nothing. It’s ok to sit in silence, to be at peace.